Attack of the Mary Sues!
by LyricalAngelFangirl
Summary: What happens when Emi-tan decides enough is enough, and that OCxCanon needs to be addressed? This story, which includes minor Sue bashing and breaking the fourth wall. ...Not my best work, though...


_People are going to _hate _me for this… All I have to say is it had to be done. Note, there are several times where the fourth wall is broken, and such stuff._

* * *

In the midst of a mid-September night, a group, or rather, a large crowd of teenage girls were gathered in the outside of a large, abandoned warehouse. They were talking giddily, gossiping about cute boys that they would kill to be paired off with. "What about Kukai?"

Several of them gawked, "Like, yea! Kukai is sooooo hawt!!!" They chirped.

"Ahem, ladies, may I have your attention?" A cute looking red-head spoke into the microphone that magically appeared in her hands. She was the one responsible for holding this meeting, and all she knew was that her goals _would _be met. "Listen up!"

The girls were all quiet and calmed for the time being. They looked up at their leader, who looked shy and embarrassed, "T-thank you. N-now, everyone knows the objective of the mission, correct?"

"Hai, Annie-chan!!"

"But let's tell the audience anyway!!" A girl with rainbow highlights shrieked.

"Ahem, Princess-san, we aren't supposed to break the fourth wall," The redhead reminded her politely.

Princess, who was short on patience pouted, "I don't care. I just want Ikuto to be my hubby-wubby forever, and a perfect family to match!" Several chants began, and Annie had to quiet the rebellious crowd.

"We will get all of our wishes! Just listen to me for a second!" She yelled, frustrated that everyone wouldn't listen to her. "Now, Princess-san, if we must, we will repeat the plan." Annie gestured a notion to a blue haired girl in the balcony. A white, flat projector screen came down, and an old-fashioned movie started blaring. The girls moaned, and Annie scolded the girl, "Ice-san, I told you to fix the sound!"

Ice, short for Isabella, (Which, in reality, doesn't make any sort of sense, but this is a fan fiction full of Mary-Sues, so…) apologized, and looked around for the stereo system. The volume was brought down to a more enjoyable, and listenable volume, and the movie resumed.

"_Welcome! If you are watching this, it must mean you wish that you could have an SC boy all to yourself instead of those selfish, undeserving girls of Shugo Chara, who only do their best to purify X-Eggs, argue with your man, and get in the way of favorited couples! Here is our plan to take them down!_

_To be with Ikuto-sama, your target will be Hinamori Amu! She has strawberry pink hair, and is probably a bigger Mary-Sue than the rest of us!!! She has so many boys running after her, and poor Ikuto-sama is left in the cold! You should also watch out for his sister, Hoshina Utau, because she will come running after you with tools of destruction if you even think about touching her dearly beloved brother! How sickening!_

_To be with Tadase-sama, you will have several targets to destroy. Hinamori Amu, whom we all hate, Yamabuki Saaya, who is nothing more than a wanna-be loser queen with a bad posse, Yuiki Yaya, because who knows? She might have a major crush on him if she's not already in love with Kukai-sama! Sakurai Yua, because she will use her idol powers to overtake our prince! Yamamoto Lulu, because she's also a bigger Mary-Sue than us, and only we can be flawless, perfect, beautiful, and in love with the boys! …That is all, dear Sues._

_Kukai-sama will require patience! Hoshina Utau has hypnotized him into thinking he loves her! He even kissed her in a canon chapter, and we all know he belongs to us Sues no matter what!!! You must also completely annihilate Yuiki Yaya and Hinamori Amu just for being his bestest friends evar! They won't matter in years when he's our hubby-poo!_

_Nagihiko-sama is much easier to attain. Just get Mashiro Rima and Hinamori Amu out of the way, and he will become your fated lover forever!_

_Kairi-sama is probably the easiest one to attain! Keep his sister, Sanjo Yukari, out of the way with alcohol, and Yaya is easily entertained with coloring books!_

The video ended with a picture of all the boys fast asleep, looking hot and stuff, and most of the girls 'kyyyyya'ing inappropriately. Annie, once again silenced them all. "Our first goal is to make Kairi-sama mine. Are we clear?"

But all of the girls disagreed. "NOOOO! Kairi's mine!"

"Let's make Nagi-chan MINE! NOW!" An explosion of arguing began, with slap fights, hair pulling, and really bad name calling. Annie, who was standing on the stage, was dragged down by her ankle and punched viciously in the face.

In the balcony, the cast of Shugo Chara watched in the insane girls fight over the rights to their "men," Amu, was still mad about being called a Mary-Sue. "Do I really act like that?"

"You have a few issues to work out," Utau commented, chomping on some popcorn, "But hey, just be glad you're not those girls,"

Kukai and Kairi flipped through a script, which revealed further plots and plans, "Yeah, according to this script Emi-tan wrote, all of these girls were supposed to all get four charas each, and then defeat all of the female cast,"

"How sickening," Rima muttered. Kusukusu giggled in agreement.

As Ikuto watched in horror, he clutched his beloved strawberry. Kukai hid behind Utau, Nagi sat next to Rima, and Kairi and Tadase sweatdropped at the extravagant scene. "I think we're supposed to end the story here,"

"Pffft, no way," Ice, who was supposed to be knocked out, spoke for the first time in the story. "Not until Tadase-sama gives me a kiss,"

Emi-tan, who decided enough was enough, broke in through the door, and dragged the girl off stage, "No one ever decides to listen to me, so you're all going to be punished,"

"B-But you wouldn't do that!" Ice argued.

"Oh, but I would. Just not in this dimension,"

Ice gulped, not sure where this was going, "S-So where are you taking me?"

"OH you'll see…" A big sadistic grin played on her face.

The rest of the SC gang watched the Mary-Sue be dragged off, not quite sure or caring what happened on the way. "So, who's up for DDR?"

"We always play DDR," Rima mumbled, "Let's go see a comedy show for a change,"

Everyone stared at each other, and shrugged. What did they have to lose? It was either that or be attacked by ravage fangirls. So the group headed out into the night, looking for a theater that would show a comedy.

Meanwhile, Emi-tan had managed to tie Princess, Annie, and Ice to chairs, lock the doors to prevent all of the other Sues' escapes, and found something they'd hate to watch.

"NO! Wha-How could you do this to us?"

"Oh yeah. This is the good stuff."

"I can't believe you'd make us watch videos about Kairi with Yaya or Amu!"

"And Amuto!"

"And Rimahiko!" The Sues cried out, but Emi-tan was satisfied.

'Now to write this all down for later…'

* * *

_Wow, this was the crackiest, most unplanned fanfiction I had to write. I mean really. This was supposed to be longer, but, this is all I've got. And now it's time to rant, so look out!_

_OCxCanonCharacter fanfictions are the worst. Because canon characters either belong with other canon characters, even if they are anime-original, or by themselves. Stop inserting yourself into SC fanfictions to be with Kukai or Ikuto, or whatever, because Ikuto loves Amu and Kukai belongs to UTAU! _

…_Sorry. It's just that I really HATE these fanfictions. Does anyone else agree? So I wrote a parody of these sort of stories to entertain myself and cheer me up, and also for anyone who agrees with me. I have nothing against people putting OCs in a story, but they do NOT belong with canon characters. Ever. Period. The end. No argument. Seriously dude, I think I prefer Kukaya over any KukOC story. And that's saying a lot, considering that I HATE Kukaya. But KukOC is literally a living nightmare. No more KukOCs!! Please spare me the brain cells and sanity!_

_I also apologize to anyone who may have been offended. But as I said, this had to be written._

_That's my little rant for today. Tell me what you think in a review or whatever. Hate it? Go ahead and flame. It will not change my opinion, ever. Got it?_

_:)Emi-tan:)_


End file.
